Sunday, February 26, 2012

I Know Where I'm Going

For the past three months or so, our Sunday mornings have been a struggle. We wake up, have breakfast, play, Nolan takes a nap. Then, it's time for church...

Predictably, we hike up stairs to the nursery, sign in, grab our "call me if he's crying" pager, drop him off, turn to leave, and the flood gates open. Nolan begins crying. Not just tiny sobs. Hysterical, red faced, my world is ending screams. Some weeks, after fifteen or twenty minutes of wailing, he calms down enough to let one of the nursery workers distract him into playing. Others, he's beyond the point of consoling, and I'm paged out of the service to rescue the poor volunteers.

This morning was different.

We woke up, had breakfast, played, Nolan napped, we drove to church. This morning, though, the flood gates opened sooner than expected. As we walked into the church entryway, Nolan busted out his hysterics, usually reserved for the nursery. It became quickly and painfully clear. He was aware of where he was. He recognized his surroundings and connected the place with what would take place inside, and he wasn't happy about the pieces he'd put together.

As a first time parent, I was probably naive in thinking that a ten month old baby didn't really grasp the concept of place. While Nolan shows memory of spaces and things within our house, I had never seen him show such a strong recognition of and reaction to an outside place.

Being a stay at home mom, I know that Nolan has spent very little of his short life without his momma nearby, and though we try to get out and about during the week, there are few places we consistently venture, except church (ok, and maybe Harris Teeter). When he was ready to recognize a place other than home, it makes sense that it was church.

I know that many babies hit a "not the momma" phase, and the old phrase, "this too shall pass," keeps playing in my head. Really, I am not distraught over the situation, but I do feel badly that a place of calm and reflection, has become a stressor for more than one member of the Feix family (really, his freak out place HAD to be church??).

But Nolan baby, we'll get through it. :)

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